


Hiiragi Wants to be Forgiven

by StarlightLin



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Feelings, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Idk if this even counts as a fic, chapter 38 spoilers, hiiragi pov, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28825854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightLin/pseuds/StarlightLin
Summary: Takes place after chapter 38 in the manga:Hiiragi wants to be forgiven. It doesn't matter by who... He just wants to be forgiven. But more than anyone else, he wants Shizusumi to forgive him
Relationships: Kashima Hiiragi/Yagi Shizusumi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	Hiiragi Wants to be Forgiven

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance- im not even sure if this counts as a fic its more of a rant from Hiira’s Pov but I was sad and I love him so this was the result,,,

Hurt. It was all he could feel once he had slammed his door. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe he felt regret? Anger? Guilt? None of those sounded right. He was overwhelmed with emotions while at the same time feeling nothing. 

Had he just ruined the one thing he had left? His anchor in life? Surely it had been his fault. He didn’t think he’d ever see his stoic best friend so angry and he certainly never thought he’d be the one to cause it.

Shizu had always been there for him no matter the circumstances. He was the only one there when their world fell apart. Yuki died. Mafuyu disappeared. It was just them. Hiiragi hated himself. How did he manage to make Shizusumi feel left out when it had always been the two of them together. He had always thought it was him being left behind by Mafuyu and Yuki and he’d hated the feeling. How could he let that happen with Shizu. 

Why was his confession met with disbelief. Why was Shizu so sure that Hiiragi wasn’t in love with him?? The situation wasn’t ideal. He hadn’t planned on confessing, but he couldn’t take that terrible look Shizu was giving him. He was smiling but there was no happiness, no positive connotation at all. It was sad and angry at the same time and Hiiragi wanted it gone and for it to never come back.

So why? Why did he respond like that? He has never been in love with Yuki. He may have looked up to him, sure, but thats just because it was Yuki. Everyone was drawn to him. It had always been admiration, never love. It hurt him that Shizu thinks he’s stupid, or maybe too innocent to know what comes with being in a relationship. Of course he knew couples kissed. 

He’d seen his two childhood friends, a long with countless other nameless pairings lock lips with each other. Hiiragi wasn’t that stupid. A more painful thought crossed his mind, worse than if Shizu thought Hiiragi was just plain dumb. What if Shizu thought so poorly of him he figured that Hiiragi was just playing with his feelings? That’s definitely not what he was trying to do. 

He’s known he's in love with Shizu for awhile now. He does want to be together. He does want to do gross couple things what would make him gag if he saw someone else do across the courtyard of their school. 

He wanted Shizu in every way so why did he freeze when Shizu grabbed his hands? Why did he flinch when his face came oh so close. Shizusumi was an asshole. Even if Hiiragi had just confessed why the hell would he do...that, so suddenly. Hiiragi has no right to be mad at his “friend” but what the hell Yagi? He felt like a deer caught in the headlights when it happened because shizu still had that damn expression on his face. 

There was nothing sweet or comforting about his touch like their normally was. It was passive anger and who knows what else. It frustrates Hiiragi to no end because he never knows what Shizu is thinking. Maybe thats how they ended up here in the first place, but really! Anyone would get freaked out if their crush went in to kiss them but only as a mockery, while he tells you you don’t know your own damn feelings. While he walks away as you cry, walks away instead of pulling you into a hug like he’d gotten so used to when he was upset. 

Fuck he was crying again. After all that he wanted nothing more to bury his face into Shizu’s chest as the latter rubs calming circles into his back. He wants Shizu to tell him it's okay. He wants to wake up from whatever this hell was and have things be okay. Undo his confession, redo the past few years and make sure to cherish Shizu as he deserves, to get his best friend back even if thats all he’ll ever be. 

Hiiragi wants to be forgiven. It doesn't matter by who... He just wants to be forgiven. But more than anyone else, he wants Shizusumi to forgive him

**Author's Note:**

> If you read all the way through my word vomit thank you! Feel free to leave how you feel about the fic or new chapter in a comment. Id love to know how other people see the situation


End file.
